one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
