Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
