Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
