It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
