I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
