Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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