and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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