What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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