Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
