I didn't shave. On purpose
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
