I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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