it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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