it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The air taste purple.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
