North Korea, Best Korea!
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize