I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize