i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
