How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Randomize
