I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
