You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
