Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
