Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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