Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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