She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
