I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
