Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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