it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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