just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
