I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
