And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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