why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
