are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
