Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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