ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
