I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
