u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
So much Jack, so little girl.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
