yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
My vagina just recognized that song.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
