I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
