i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
