grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Randomize
