it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Last time i carry you out of a forest
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
