That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
