32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dad just said "fuck circus"
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
