Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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