I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
He told me they were just razor bumps!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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