I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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