I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
