Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
