i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
