I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
