Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
