I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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