he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
