i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
