I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
