So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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