hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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