the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
