Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
