i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
