Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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