my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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