Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize