We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
