That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
