about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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