He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
