It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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