Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
