i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
