That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
