I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize