Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
