how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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