Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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