He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
